you don't see me

This is the place where I sit. This is the part where I love you too much. Is this as hard as it gets? 'Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough. I'm here if you want me. I'm yours, you can hold me. I'm empty and aching and tumbling and breaking.

'Cause you don't see me. And you don't need me. And you don't love me. The way I wish you would, the way I know you could.

I dream of worlds where you'd understand, and I dream a million sleepless nights. I dream of fire when you're touching my hand, but it twists into smoke when I turn on the light. I'm speechless and faded, it's too complicated. Is this how the book ends, nothing but good friends?

'Cause you don't see me. And you don't need me. And you don't love me. The way I wish you would...

This is the place in my heart. This is the place where I'm falling apart. Isn't this just where we met? And is this the last chance that I'll ever get? I wish I was lonely instead of just only crystal and see-through and not enough to you.

'Cause you don't see me. And you don't need me. And you don't love me. The way I wish you would... 'Cause you don't see me. And you don't need me. And you don't love me. The way I wish you would, the way I know you could.

I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. 'Cause you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid to be vulnerable. And I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This was how I spent my summer; wanting you... I'm just too scared to admit it.

I am done.
I am done with you, and your lies.

You are supposed to be my best friend. Or was supposed to be, anyway.

You and I were inseparable, and all of a sudden you completely changed. You thought it would be extra neat to drop out of school, and move out of your house. You had no reason to do that. Your life was beyond great. Your family loved you, and you were finally picking up in classes.

Now, since you've moved, you think you're some fucking hot shot. I don't think so. You think hanging out with older people, getting tattoos, and "rocking out" is the way of life - let me tell ya something, kid, it really isn't. I hope you wake up one day and realize how much you messed up.

I'm especially disappointed because I found out you're a pothead again. Don't you ever try to tell me again that you quit drugs for me, and that I changed my life. I apparently mean fuck all to you.

I am sick of trying to keep this friendship alive when it actuality it died 7 months ago. Don't call me and ask me to hang out, because I know you're just going to fall through like you've done time and time again.

See ya.

I’d never given much though to how I would die — though I’d had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. I knew that if I’d never gone to Forks, I wouldn’t be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.